Monday, July 28, 2014

Roses are red, violets are blue, we get to read Greta's poetry all week.

This week's star of the Academic Water Cooler summer re-runs is Great Lakes Greta, poet laureate of College Misery.  Fun fact: Greta posted a lot of poetry at College Misery but never wrote anything about a man from Nantucket.

From College Misery, September 30, 2010

"This shit is NOT poetry!"

After a week shortened
by illness--mine--and reading
that students were
shocked/saddened/confused/pissed off
by my singular

and after having to define
pungent, urgent, discern,
rectitude, rectify, stupefy,
fortified, fixated, elixir,
elliptical, circumstantial, radiate,
lethargy, diligence, chronic,
indifferent, austere, and--for good measure,
and by no invention of my own--
sloppy, as in, "You mean, like
she's got sloppy shit?"

and after explaining
that retarded is verboten
(but, of course,
without using verboten),
and why,

and after defending
poor Robert Hayden
whose shit can NOT be poetry
because it don't even rhyme,

I find myself
on my deck
in my backyard
nursing straight orange juice,
my naked face phototropically
following the late afternoon sun, dreaming
of faraway cabana boys, bottomless
buckets of beer,
and thinking,
Man, he was right:
This shit is not poetry.
There is nothing
here that suggests rhyme, not
now, not


  1. This gives me a big happy. Thank you for featuring Greta. :)

  2. Me, too. I saw the this this morning (while not in a position to comment), and thought "Greta! Hurrah!"

  3. Woo hoo! I am unabashedly Team Greta. :-)

  4. "cabana boys, bottomless"

    I see what you did there ;-)