Thursday, July 17, 2014

Real Greta-damned mail

We all joke about the mail that the mods received at College Misery but Greta finally had enough.

From College Misery, June 27, 2011

Real Goddamned Mail? I Gotch Yer Real Goddamned Answers...Right....Here...

Okay, so the mailbag bullshit posted today requires answers. I'm willing to oblige. In my original draft, every answer contained some version of the F-bomb because that single word seemed to embody the gestalt of the start of this week. (Sadly, I'm being metaphorical.) While I giggled about it, the many F-bombs sounded unseemly, so I replaced them with something close to my original intended concept.

I so hope it translates.

  • I think you should figure out how to navigate a tea partying blog. Too many, too few...who the tea party are you? Goldilocks?
  • What the tea party do you mean that CM didn't have any new material this weekend? Did you not see Great Lakes Greta's really bad haiku announcing her tenure? Trust me, pal, that's tea partying new.
  • I wish people would stop ending sentences with question marks, like this? If you don't want to tea partying read the tea partying article, don't click on the tea partying link.
  • Last time I checked, this was MY page, too--and the page of everyone else in this blog community. You're not going to write FOR this page anymore? Oh, boo tea partying hoo. Just take your ball and go home.
  • And the catty bullshit is tired of you, too. Tea party off.
  • I think we should give Beaker Ben a tea partying medal.
  • This is a tea partying blog. If you don't like Beaker Ben's posts, just don't read them. Tea party, people! Have you never met the interwebs before?
  • Honey, it's only a joke if you have a tea partying sense of humor.
  • So, you're finally onto the moderators? Yes, they stockpile blog entries to post when you post, to push you way the tea party down on the page. Thanks, pal. Now they'll have to figure out another strategy.
  • Can you get a faster tea partying connection? Open your tea partying wallet!
  • Who the tea party told you that this was an academic blog? Seriously, is this your first time here?
  • Post of the Week? Really? Call Dr. Phil. He tea partying gives a shit.
  • Yes, yes, yes. We got the memo about our unprofessional response to your question, the one you showed around to your friends. Tea party you.
  • I'm tea partying sorry about the insult, okay? Now get the tea party out of here.
Disclaimer: The views expressed in this tea partying blog entry are not those of CM or its moderators. They belong solely to Great Lakes Greta. Get the tea party over it.


  1. And that, I believe, is the origin of variations on "tea party" in place of the F-bomb, a classic (and very useful) fixture of the CM lexicon. I miss Greta, and hope she's doing okay.

  2. Someday, the ethnographers of grumpy faculty will appreciate this week's posts.