Friday, July 11, 2014

In what might be the greatest academic anxiety dream ever

I dreamed that I had a job at Teddy Roosevelt University. Everyone on the faculty was walking on eggshells all the time, because if something happened that the administration didn't like, Teddy would resurrect himself into a kind of horrifying zombie Teddy who would come and micromanage things for a while until he was satisfied. After this, he would enter his eternal repose once again.

Only it wasn't actually Teddy Roosevelt. It was Franklin. And either no one knew, or no one wanted to say anything, because whenever I tried to bring up the fact, people got really nervous and hushed me.

What do you think?

-- Dr. Amelia


  1. Did you ever see "They Live"?

  2. That's a new one! I can usually link my anxiety dreams to something real and tangible, but a zombie Teddy? :) You could market that one to a major TV network!

  3. Zombie Teddy sounds scarier, probably because live Teddy was better known for being exceptionally physically robust (but does that matter? how do zombies experience physical disabilities beyond, um, being dead?), but if the threat is micromanaging, I'd think either Roosevelt would be capable of that. In fact, being fireside-chatted ad nauseum sounds pretty awful. On the other hand, I suspect that Teddy and his generation bear some responsibility for the athletics-centric ideology that has gradually overtaken American higher ed.

    Your penultimate paragraph sounds sort of emporer's-new-clothes-ish, which is definitely a recognizable part of the current academy. Heaven forbid that anyone should note that we're on the way to having more administrators than faculty, or that the last five-year-plan was rolled out with just as much hoopla as the current one, before vanishing with the dean who used it as a springboard to his next position.

  4. Hey, don't mess with Teddy. I've been to the bar in the Menger Hotel in San Antonio where he recruited Rough Riders. The bar itself has a scar from where Carrie Nation swatted it with a hatchet. Neil deGrasse Tyson tried to show me how to become a wine snob there, unsuccessfully. No kidding!

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