Here are some missives to current and former students:
--Leftover Larry: would you mind informing your mom that a grade of incomplete means that you didn't finish the work of the class, not that I'm still grading 2 months after the term ended? I'm not sure where she got that impression (though I have my suspicions), but of course I can't correct it, thanks to FERPA. You can, and I'd appreciate your doing so. Her unhappiness with the situation as she perceives it is certainly understandable, but having to repeatedly reply "I'm sorry, but I can't communicate with parents about student grades" to her increasingly-assertive emails is getting on my nerves. She and I will probably never meet, so it shouldn't matter, but I find I don't like somebody out there thinking that I'm as incompetent and uncaring as your version of events makes me out to be.
-Ancillary note to professors in Larry's major department: I have the feeling, from a conversation I had with Larry when we initially arranged the incomplete, that some of you are turning in whole rosters of incompletes rather than finish your grading on time. How in the world do you get away with that? I'm pretty sure the registrar would be on the phone to my chair within minutes if I tried that, and my job would (understandably) be in peril. Also, why would you want to do that? By the end of the semester, I just want to turn in the grades and be done with it. While I've been known to cut it pretty close to the deadline (I'm tired at the end of the semester, and everything goes v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y), it's one of those times when I appreciate a deadline.
--MIA Matt: this is either the 2nd or the 3rd name your (fairly unusual, when you take into account last as well as first) name has showed up on the roster for a section of the online class I'm teaching at the moment. But I've never heard a peep from you, even when I emailed to remind you to check in or drop. What's going on? Are you really, really afraid of this required course? Do you never check your email (or the LMS), but/and think the credits will magically appear on your transcript if you register? Is this some sort of student-loan-related scheme? (If so, bad idea; it's going to take you a long time to pay back that "free money" without a degree, and student loans aren't dischargeable in bankruptcy.) Something else? A few MIA students is par for the course in an online class, but at this point I'm getting curious about you.
--Everybody else in my summer class: thanks for completing your introductions on time. That was great. I realize that we then had a holiday weekend, and that we're still in the preparatory stages, but. . . .you've got a lot of work due Friday, and I haven't heard a second peep from most of you -- not a question, not the next post, not anything. Most of you do seem to be checking the LMS, but I'm still a bit worried. I can't answer emails from *all* of you on Friday (and I'm not staying up until midnight to answer questions from those of you who think you can start work at 10:30 p.m. You can't, and I've told you that. So get to work. now.)
-- Contingent Cassandra