Friday, May 30, 2014

Dr. Jekyll and Prof. Hyde present: You make the call!

Dr. Jekyll:  Hyde, you are a sweaty sort, perhaps you can explain something to me.

Prof. Hyde:  Go on, my officious friend.

Dr. Jekyll:  Our college has an associate dean that seems insistent on personally re-arranging offices this time of year.

Prof. Hyde:  Why so troubled?  That seems perfectly normal.

Dr. Jekyll:  Alas, I shall have to explain more.  As proffies leave for fairer ports once spring term is over, the associate dean helps to clean, refurbish and repair the vacated offices for the new hires who will be occupying them during the coming fall.

Prof. Hyde:  You mean he does the grunt work?  Isn't there a facilities staff for that?

Dr. Jekyll:  Yes and yes.  Further the facilities staff has a pay rate much lower than that of the associate dean.  The sight of him sweating away is, well, I'm not sure.

Prof Hyde:  Perhaps you should send this story to Academic Water Cooler and see if they can provide an appropriate finish to that last sentence.

--  Dr. Jekyll & Prof. Hyde
 

OK, boys and girls.  What comes to mind when you think about your dean performing manual labor to clean up a new faculty member's office?


9 comments:

  1. Hey, I'm all for it. University administration should be required to do manual labor: it might improve the circulation of oxygen to the brain.

    Another possible solution: Ever see the National Lampoon's 1964 high-school yearbook parody? The principal of that school apparently masqueraded as a janitor, the one that grossed out the other janitors. Might your dean be some sort of pervert, a sycophantic killer, perhaps?

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    1. Another thought: Who exactly will occupy that office? If it's a Nobel laureate with gobs of external funding, it may explain your dean's behavior very well.

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  2. I think he's possibly trying to lose weight and wants some useful exercise. Some people like doing physical labor like that. That's why I like working in my yard.

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    1. As Einstein noted, "People love chopping wood. In this activity one immediately sees results." Einstein, of course was a field theorist (just like Sheldon Cooper).

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  3. Maybe s/he's always secretly wanted to be a lumberjack? And they're ok!

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  4. My vote is for "Control Freak."

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  5. Two disparate possibilities: 1) As Myth already stated, Uber Control Freak; 2) super collegial because he knows the staff are so inept that there is a strong possibility that the office won't be cleaned before the new hires arrive, and there's no 2nd chance to make a 1st impression (said the guy who arrived at his uni and took MONTHS to get a desk, phone, computer, and had to clean his own lab of years of grime w/ questionable provenance/toxicity...).

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  6. I would pay to watch the dean clean up my office for my replacement.

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  7. I'd go with "Hands-On Colleague" who wants to ensure incoming faculty feel welcome, and also someone who wants a break from the desk-job and actually have a hand in building up the college. As chair, I would bring in my handtruck to cart bookcases from one office to the next, to make sure everyone had what he or she needed promptly, rather than when the buildings-and-grounds staff would get around to it.

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