Now students, I know that Zoology 4444-Animal Reproduction has gained a reputation around campus as, "that class where you jack off a turtle," but I want you to know that you will ACTUALLY learn to manually stimulate a whole host of vertebrates! Not just turtles! Also, these are tortoises...
Student 1: The final's gonna be so easy.Student 2: How come?Student 1: I have turtle recall.
I love this.
Dammit, I knew that the course title "Care of Non-Magical Creatures for Muggles" was just an advertising ploy to get us enrolled in this lame diploma program ...
After supporters of intelligent design successfully lobbied the government that this subject be taught alongside evolution, adherents to other creation theories demanded equal time. Here, we see students learning about how it's turtles all the way down.
Second student from the right: Oh, prof? I don't think my turtle has what it takes to become a hero on the half shell!
From the right: Today, students, we will learn about how the turtles produce the wax that goes into those cans you see in the stores--you know, the stuff that makes your cars nice and shiny?
Middle student: This can't be right! I thought turtles were supposed to be covered with chocolate!
Look! The turtles match my boots!
All: Are you a turtle?
You bet your sweet a$$ I am!
We must know each other. That is the correct response
I like turtles.
Sure, we may from time to time suffer the indignity of being touched and our asses being stared at, but during slack time we get all the food and sex we want, plus we don't have to live in constant fear of getting run over by a Camry.
OMF, I'm holding something that looks like it came out of a dinosaur's ass!!! This is so cool!
Where's the 'off' button on these damned things!?