Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Early Thirsty: The meaning of tenure

Get ready people. We've got one Thirsty per day until we hit the weekend. Get your 'splaining on. Here's the Early Thirsty for today.

-- Ben





On Tuesday, Beaker Ben treated us to a sweet Tweet from "Shit Academics Say" (@AcademicsSay):



I've always told people that tenure was the ability to use two magic words when asked to attend or do something useless: "Fuck it!"

But there are other words that that have magic powers when one has tenure.  These words have the power to make me not appear when featured in a meeting agenda or immediately disappear when uttered seriously at a meeting I am attending.

The current list of Magic Words That Make Me Disappear include things like Strategic Plan, Mission Statement and Branding.


What magic words make you disappear, or, if not yet tenured, wish you could (have tenure and disappear)?


- Old Fart Prof

20 comments:

  1. Mission-Statement
    Faculty Negotiations
    Presidential Address
    Teaching Workshop
    Computer Training

    ReplyDelete
  2. faculty assembly
    faculty working group
    professional development day

    ReplyDelete
  3. Benchmarking Best Practices


    - Old Fart Prof

    ReplyDelete
  4. Assessment
    ..... Forum.
    Mission
    Elevator Speech

    ReplyDelete
  5. Closing the Loop
    Retention
    Continuing Review

    ReplyDelete
  6. Consultant
    Faculty Development
    Engagement

    ReplyDelete
  7. I don't have tenure (and probably never will), and this hasn't yet happened at my university (and I hope it never will), but I'm hearing of it happening elsewhere:

    Words like "program restructuring" can make tenured professors disappear from campus, permanently.

    Which is scary for all of us (unlike some contingent activists, I don't think that the bit of remaining power tenured faculty have is a significant part of our problems -- though the ways they do and don't use it definitely is). It's also, unfortunately, why tenured faculty probably need to pay attention to strategic plans, visions, and the like, and to stay engaged in and keep healthy whatever faculty organizing/governance groups are open to them.

    Of course, if you're an old (and wealthy) enough fart to retire if things get too bad, this may not apply (but think of the children -- no, not the students; the young, unaccountably-hopeful Ph.D.s).

    ReplyDelete
  8. Communication
    Civility
    Committee
    Strategic Planning
    Visioning

    ReplyDelete
  9. faculty retreat
    transparency - in the context of administrative decision making

    ReplyDelete
  10. Achieving the Dream (high five, Cindy!)
    Flipped Classroom
    Dual Credit
    High School partnerships
    Transparency
    Open forum
    Budget
    Program review
    Accreditation

    ReplyDelete
  11. assessment
    program review
    engagement
    strategic planning
    metrics (why not measures BTW? Or norms? Or pseudometrics?)

    (Do we all work at the same place?)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Quality Management
    Enriching the Learning Experience
    Accreditation
    "Hi, I'm the new administrator in charge of , do you have a minute for me?"

    Things are going from bad to worse on the administrative side currently, so I spend a lot of time hiding in the library or in unspecified meetings I am having with a coffee cup.

    ReplyDelete