Thursday, March 27, 2014

You must be taller than Mickey's hand to enroll. . .

So the following turned up in the ol' Inbox today. . .

Disney for Higher Ed: Customer Service that Attracts & Keeps Students - 4/21 Webinar

Colleges that have made customer service priority one on their campus are not only boosting retention rates, but attracting more students. Learn to apply Disney's proven customer-centric service principles to attract students and build retention rates at your university. Join us for a live, 60-minute webinar where you and your colleagues will discover:

"Disney for Higher Ed: Customer Service that Attracts & Keeps Students"

Program Highlights:

Disney's Customer Service Model for Higher Ed – Tips for Your College

** How to turn your front-line staff into a top-notch service team
** Ways to apply Disney's service philosophy to boost student success
** Strategies to make service excellence part of everyday operations
** Keys to build a service model to improve your school's image & brand

There was more, but that gives you the flavor. I think reading it made my soul throw up.

 -- Dr. Beowulf


  1. This gives new meaning to the idea of a clown college. What do you get for attending? A red rubber nose and squeaky horn? Maybe adjuncts can become imagineers.

  2. That is downright terrifying. I want to believe it's a parody, but I know all too well it probably isn't.

    In fact, from what I hear, High Point College isn't far off already employing many of these principles (as well as having a charismatic and quite possibly megalomaniacal CEO -- er, president).

    On the other hand, maybe what we need is some "collegeland" resorts that provide sports, drinking, Greek Life and other elements of the "college experience," to draw off the slackers, so the rest of us can get on with the actual business of higher ed. The problem is that parents (and the federal government) won't pay for the college experience unless it at least appears to be attached to an actual college education. But the appearance may well be becoming more important than the reality for some potential customer (er, students).

  3. No parody, I'm afraid:
    But it's OK, because the speaker takes a "holistic approach".

    For attending ($199) you get a "proprietory workbook".

  4. There you have it, folks. Higher education has become a Mickey Mouse operation. On the other hand, many of us figured that out years ago, starting with "student as customer".

  5. My only reaction to this is profanity. Maybe a bit of violence.

  6. Higher education today reminds me more of Sesame Street, specifically Cookie Monster. Cookie Monster can't actually eat: someone's arm is where his stomach should be. So, when he puts a cookie in his mouth, it just crumbles up and falls out.

    Nevertheless, I believe him when he says he loves cookies. He's just like higher education these days: he just keeps EATING and EATING, even though he CAN'T actually EAT.