Friday, March 28, 2014

With REAL nightmares, at least you eventually WAKE UP

I sometimes have these awful visions of my former students, now college graduates, working in the “real world”:

- skateboarding from office to office; running down anyone in their way.

- when chastised for wearing T-shirts with snarky/offensive/obscene messages/pictures, saying, “hey, I have free speech rights, you know!”

- asking their supervisors, “can you reschedule that important meeting with our clients? I already bought tickets to the Coachella Music Festival for that day.”

- after they have caused some technical disaster, or medical tragedy, saying, “but the number was right; I just confused ‘milligram’ with ‘microgram’ so I really had it mostly right!”

- telling their bosses, “that’s a STUPID assignment, you are TOTALLY unreasonable!”

- complaining to the supervisor of their immediate boss that their boss is “mean and expects too much of me – don’t even let that person ever be a boss of people like me ever again!”

- instead of completing their assigned work, copying something vaguely relevant from the internet and saying, “but you never said we couldn’t use outside resources!” and “it’s YOUR fault for giving me such an impossibly hard task!” when caught.

- playing video games on their desktop all day, then complaining to their boss how hard they work, and bragging to their friends how they have their boss totally snowed. On Twitter. Using their real name.

It IS gratifying how all of these visions have the very satisfying ending of their obnoxious little asses getting canned.

-- Horrible Meanie Prof


  1. The reality -- this is already happening. It's been going on for some time too. The fight has already been lost.

  2. Yes! This makes me want to run back and re-watch the Millennials in the Workplace Training Video!

    1. I shared that video, and got immediate responses from friends who hire people: this video is so close to being a documentary, it's flat out terrifying.

    2. Q: Why do so many employers take an instant aversion to snowflakes?

      A: Saves time in the long run.

      More seriously: one reason modern students get away with this shit in college and not in the workplace is that we let them get away with it in college. It's easy to say that we should stop, but the "students as customers" ethos often penalizes faculty for trying. Well, I have tenure, and I have seniority, so I can going to keep up the good fight, and support any junior faculty I can who do so, too.

  3. I suspect this is why so many college grads still live at home... they've tried these moves already.