My dear spouse is a non-academic. (I am too now, after finally bailing from The Vocation a few years back.) I've always had a seething envy of the perks of academic couples. -- they can always weedle their schools into hiring their spouses (or get hired at their spouse's schools themselves, regardless of their qualifications), and everyone thinks their marriages are deeper and richer than mine (I call bullshit). I even had a rant on this matter posted on RYS!
But the thing that pisses me off most is they can always get their spouses funding through their own research projects, regardless of how irrelevant the spouse's discipline is. It's called being innovative and interdisciplinary!
One incident in particular stands in mind. I was part of a team that went to a VERY undeveloped part of the Third World for a summer project. My official collaborator decided to bring his wife (in a completely unrelated field) to "help." She brought a friend from home because she wanted company and thought it would be fun.
Well, neither of these two deadweights had ever (1) been in a tropical country during the summer, (2) spoke the language used there, or (3) ever eaten anything not available at Whole Foods or stayed in a hotel that didn't have cable and wireless internet and room service. Both freaked out and demanded to move into fancier digs in the nearest big city, about an hour's drive away.
Meanwhile, my dear spouse, who has professional experience in audio-visual stuff (which would have been useful for our data collection) as well as camping and peeing-outdoors experience, couldn't possibly come, except on his own dime, (And even if he did, it still would have made me look unprofessional to my department.) GRRR.
-- Sent in anonymously by Totally Unfair