Tuesday, March 4, 2014

In which Bella reads email on the Sunday afternoon before an exam and essay are due....

I know many of you would not recommend it, but I do like to check e-mail on the day before an exam. And I have essays coming in later in the week, so this weekend is a double whammy.  Here are two particularly "speshial" missives.
From Clueless Carl:

Dear Professor Bella,
I have been absent for the past two weeks.  I was wondering if I missed anything important, and if there was anything significant going on this week that I should be thinking about this weekend.

Kisses, Clueless Carl

I answered:
Dear Carl, Yes, you missed when we drafted the introduction to the essay due Wednesday, and then outlined the major points.  You missed the peer review on that outline, and you missed turning in the whole shebang so that I could write up comments on it to help you perform better on your final draft. None of it can be made up.
You also missed our in-class review for the exam.  I have attached the review sheet. 
Both the exam and the essay due date are featured prominently on your syllabus.
Professor Bella

And another:

Dear Professor Bella,

On Wednesday, someone complained that they could not possibly write 4-5 pages on this stuff. You ended up saying something about the requirements, and if we wrote about everything we were supposed to, we'd be able to get to the required length.  Remember?  You wrote some stuff on the board about what we were supposed to write, and how many points there were to make about each thing in the assignment sheet?

Could you just recap all that for me? 


Batshit Crazy Bonnie

Dear Batshit Crazy Bonnie,

For your convenience, I have attached a copy of the assignment sheet, which tells you exactly what is required in this essay.  If you need to look at the class notes, please e-mail a fellow student.

Professor Bella


  1. Both messages could be summed up as: "Make me smart enough to pass the next exam, after which I'll completely flush that information from my memory." That's all what profs and instructors are there for, aren't they?

  2. As we edge toward the halfway point in the term (and our final deadline for a special, limited kind of drop), I increasingly find myself telling the Carl's that they might want to consider dropping now and retaking the class next semester. I don't think it's quite the advice they expect, even though it says on the syllabus that students who miss more than a week of class often have trouble catching up (which is true; of course, that's because they're usually significantly behind before they disappear, but those are also the students emailing me with such broad, did-I-miss-anything? questions. The ones who're on top of things, and just get sick for a week or even two, are emailing me to say they've done x and y and have a (perfectly reasonable, well-informed) question about z, and could they please have a brief (again, perfectly reasonable) extension on q).

  3. I missed this one earlier. Why do these emails just induce rage in me?

  4. Writing skills are what matters a lot in every kind of writing that you have to engage in. Go here for more writing help custom essay writing service on the other hand, language plays another pivotal role in as far as writing good essays are concerned.