Friday, March 21, 2014

Frenna on having a non-academic spouse

I have a non-academic spouse. He does not even have a college degree.  We met as undergraduates and he was one of those students that got lost in the large state university.  I don't think (he and his parents would agree) he was ready for college.  I think if he went back now, he would excel.  I do not push him to go to school, because it does not bother me that he lacks a degree.  I wish we would go back, even to a community college, for some sort of degree.  Hell he took four years of classes, but kept changing majors!!!   I think a degree would be a nice landing pad in case something were to happen with his great job.

I think his lack of a degree bothers him when he has to go to some mixer thing of mine, filled with stuffy academics.  He hated going to the parties that my PhD prof would hold, because everyone talked "shop."  I am sure there are academics out there that would not "approve" of an academic having a spouse without any college degree.  I find it depressing that he makes more than me without a degree.   As an adjunct I often find myself wondering why I went through all the torture for the peanuts that I get!!!

I love that he can stay home with our offspring when needed and knows sometimes I need to abandon him with said offspring to grade at a coffee shop during the weekend.  Damn I miss having my own office on campus.

I think he has a hard time understanding why I would rather teach than get a high paying industry job.  I would miss the atmosphere of a school.  The shuffling of people around campus and the one or two students that remind me WHY I got a PhD.

-- Frenna

1 comment:

  1. I so resonate with your sentiment of not knowing what to talk about with others at parties. My SO is a former academic who refuses to attend my gatherings because of the shop talk! "If I wanted to talk about students, I would have stayed in academia," is usually the remark I hear.