|I wanted to use an Eddie Rabbit picture instead.|
More annoying was the fact that Gregarious Gilbert had started to take the exam early, on the other side of campus, in order to accommodate his need for, uh, accommodation (extended time). That was not, per se, a problem at all. However, he started the exam a full half hour before the rest of the class, in a separate room with a separate proctor, and thus he was well into the exam when the administration canceled class.
I raced slip-sliding over to the other side of campus where he was hunkered down in a tiny office with the proctor. "Gilbert," I said, "I don’t want to interrupt you. But class has been canceled. I'd like you to continue taking the exam, because you've already started and it just makes sense to finish now. OK?" Gilbert nodded in slightly baffled agreement and went back to work; I left him and his proctor and went back to my office.
Several hours later, long after the proctor had delivered Gilbert's exam to me, I received the following e-mail from Gilbert:
"Dear Prof. Snugglebunny,
I'm feeling uneasy about the test I took earlier this morning, and I know that if I had more time to study I would have been able to do a much better job overall, especially on the essay portion. With everyone receiving these extra four days to study, I wanted to see if there was any way I could get extra points or if I could do some kind of extra credit assignment to improve my test score. I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause you, I just feel at a disadvantage compared to the rest of the class. Thank you for your consideration."
Hey, at least he said 'thank you,' right? I mean. . . uh, WTF? Yes, Gilbert, bro – technically you are right: everyone else gets "extra days" to study, even though they probably all wish the frigging thing was over and done with, and now they have to wait until next week. But wait: at a disadvantage??? Why? Why would you think this? Oh, let's check your record of work thus far in the class, shall we?
First, the essay was taken almost word for word from our first in-class assignment. Oh, wait. . . you didn't do the first assignment. You weren't in class that day, and you got a zero. Bummer, dude.
Second, as I gaze at the BlackholeBoard Site thingy for our class, I see that you never downloaded the reading for that assignment, either. Or any other readings from the previous three weeks. Total bummer, dude. I can see how you think you would be better off, NOW THAT YOU HAVE SEEN THE ESSAY QUESTION AND WOULD HAVE FIVE MORE DAYS TO DO THE READING. Oh, you already had an extra week and a half due to weather-related delays earlier in the term, and you still couldn't be bothered to do the reading or get a copy of the first assignment. Life sucks, doesn't it, Gilbert? Or as good ol' Stella from Sparksburg would have called you: CHAFFEE!
Warm hugs from,