Thursday, February 27, 2014

My day, every single day

Tuesday, no classes to teach and no meetings!  The only thing I have to do is read some articles for a manuscript I’m writing.  If I work on it all day, it will be done.  I feel good already.

The papers are still on my desk.  OK, let’s get to it. 

Gotta check email first.  Delete, delete, delete, delete.  What’s that?  Oh, shit.  I was supposed to respond to that last week.  Let’s get that out of the way so I can concentrate on reading.

Delete, delete, delete, delete.

Done!  Now I can read this article ...

Wha-?  Yes, come in.  Yes, I have office hours on Friday but (since you interrupted me already) I’ll talk with you now.  I don’t care how ashamed you are about plagiarizing the lab report.  You’re still getting a zero.  Thanks for bringing your unhappiness to my attention.  I believe that our impromptu meeting is now over.  You may shut the door.

No, leave first, then shut the door. 

OK, where was I?  Right, reading this article.  Ugh.  It’s really long.

I need some coffee so I can pay attention.  (See, I’m so tired that I missed an opportunity to say, “That’s what she said” in the previous line.)  While the coffee is brewing, I’ll chat with the guy across the hall.  That counts as multitasking, right?

OK, coffee ready.  Now I’m fired up.  Time to read, time to expand my knowledge!

How do I have twelve new messages?  And what the fuck is this one – “Need response by tomorrow”?  The hell!  You sat on this for two weeks and now you need me finish it?  FINE, you stupid asshat!

Lunch.  Mmmm, sandwich.

Well, before I dive into the work I have to do that is ACTUALLY MY JOB, I need to take care of some other things, like scheduling a meeting and setting up the pre-meeting so that people know what we are going to do at the meeting.  I’ll order supplies for research and plan our next set of experiments.  Now I need to find my grad student to find out why I’m doing his job also.

Phone calls...  People stopping by my office with questions...  Twenty six new emails...  Deep breath...

I am OK.  I still have almost the whole afternoon to read these articles.  See, it’s only... 5:15.  Shit.

Well, at least I’ve got lots of time tomorrow.  Nothing’s on my calendar so that’s good.


  1. And that would be my day too, except you forgot the "I'll just get the articles out of my bibliographic database which has just crashed."...

  2. Halifax Auburn Pensacola Paris Ypsilanti Boston Indianola Riverside Texarkana Houston Dallas Ada Yoakum, Columbus Austin Laredo.

  3. The office is the worst place in the world to get serious work done. No one ever bothers me in my lab, because it's terrifying: one false move, and you get 4000 volts through you.