Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Mathy Matthew shares some delicate feelings about his colleagues

WALTER and WILLA the Wastes: Our department was ordered to start tracking certain data. To try and save everyone a great deal of work, I volunteered to create a common spreadsheet. I put hours and hours of work in to make this as easy to use as possible. Everyone else in the department was able to follow the instructions. Hell, several people thanked me for my work. What did you two do? You threw your data into a blank spreadsheet and left out several of the key pieces of information. One of you even used the wrong grading scale! We had a meeting about this, where I explained the spreadsheet and you agreed to use it. So either you're completely fucking stupid, or you just don't give a shit. Either way, YOU are the reason that some people suggest we get rid of tenure. And damn, I'm starting to agree...

Scatterbrained SANDRA: You emailed me to ask if you could come into my class to introduce a new tutor to the students. You gave me ONE date that worked. I emailed you back to confirm. Then you emailed me back to tell me that the tutor isn't available on that date, but you'll come anyway. WTF? And you're not fooling anyone when you say that you'll only take up three minutes of class. You'll be there for at least eight minutes, nervously rambling on and on, so much that the students won't have any desire to go use your services.

Adminiflake ANDY: We are one month into the semester and the final exam schedule has not yet been posted online. This is two weeks after I alerted you to the fact: two weeks you spent ignoring the task and my emails. You should be fired. Or hanged.

It just bothers me when I work hard and sometimes go above and beyond to make things work smoothly, and other people who are paid much more just can't get their act together. To anyone who makes my job harder by not doing theirs: FUCK YOU!


Mathy Matthew


  1. To channel Strelnikov: shoot them all! I think a "fuck you" is warranted in these cases.

  2. I once had to deal with someone like the Wastes while I was teaching. One year, I was in charge of a certain part of our open house display. I made all the arrangements for whatever my colleagues needed, even discussing it with them several times. I had everything set up and my equivalent of Walter decided, after all my consultations, to make his contribution *his* way. What irritated me was that I didn't find out about it until after everything had been set up. I guess he just had to be different.

    I had to deal with someone like Sandra as well. That person's session with my students was just another item on his get-it-out-of-the-way list. It was one of those things he did to justify his paycheque.

    Andy sounds like people I knew in the bookstore. More than once, the order for the textbook would be placed well in advance and just before a certain course began, I would be informed that there was something wrong. During my last term there, someone "forgot" to order the textbook, so I had to wing it in my lectures as my students didn't have anything to refer to.