Thursday, February 27, 2014

I had no idea times were so good

I'm talking to (almost) all of you right now.

You lucky, lucky professors.  With your preciously smart and hard-working students.  No problems for you this semester, other than they are all reading ahead, attending all your office hours to ask an endless number of insightful questions and asking how many chili peppers you want on RMP.

How do I know this?  Because the smackdown tank is empty.

You could write a quick note about your annoying students, your clueless students and your lazy students.  That is, if you had any of those.  Which you apparently don't have.  Lucky, lucky you.

I'm not terribly mad about this state of affairs.  Really, I'm a tad bit jealous.  And your wonderful, no-smackdown-deserving students.

We made it to Thursday without running out of smack so I'll provide one more post later today.  We don't post any article links until the weekend so unless somebody sends me something to post, there won't be anything new here all day Friday.

That will give you more time to spend with your students.  Maybe you'll get to be BFFs.

Or you could send me some shit to post, okie dokie?


  1. I guess I can share my favorite smackdown.

    I often get education majors in my class, complaining bitterly because my class isn't as stupid-easy as their education classes, and about every semester I get the following exchange:

    Student: "Why do I have to learn this stuff? I'm only going to be teaching 8 year olds!"

    Me: "Because the parents of those children want the teacher to know more than an 8 year old."

  2. I have been proctoring exams this week, so I have been enjoying reading Academic Water Cooler while the students have been hard at work with their exams. Now let's do some grading!

  3. FWIW, I'm OK with spreading out our content to have one new entry per day. Particularly during busy times of the quarter, it's hard to keep up with even that... Why do shitty essays take so long to grade?

  4. Right now they are too scared for me to need to do the smackdown. Oh, may this last all semester!

  5. I got my first ass-kisser -- does that count? At the second office hour of the term. The hour I usually can count on to finish finishing up from the last term. After he argued about the answer on an optional, ungraded online quiz, he hung around for 20 minutes to shoot the breeze. Each time I asked, "Is there anything else I can help you with?" there was. The worst part? He cheerfully assured me that he would be back as often as possible.