"You wanna pester me about having class outside? Fine...POP QUIZ, BITCHES! And your little dog, too!"
"Hey University of Illinois. This is what WE do on a snow day. Candyasses!"
My dog just needed to do his business, but you kept pestering me instead of reading the fucking syllabus. Fine! Texts open, everyone turn to page 42!
Snowflakes in their natural habitat.
I got yer experiential learning RIGHT HERE!
And that is why Kant's critique of pure reason has been so influential. Questions?
Wine -> nose -> screen. You have surely won the internet.
"Your choices were a slow death from exposure or a discussion of transcendental argument. I see you've all chosen 'death from exposure', then."
And nobody used to believe Strel when he talked about sending them to Siberia.
You rang?"So, class--what was Shakespeare's reason for naming the girl child "Peerdita"?
Be careful what you wish for.
Adjuncts don't get offices or classrooms. Those are for full-time profs only.
Apparently they're not issued overcoats, either (but some of the students get sweatshirts, and everybody gets books. That, at least, is a bright spot. When did you last see a class in which everybody had a copy of the book, had it open, and appeared to be looking at it?). They are, however, apparently supplied with corgies (as guides? companions? supervisor/spies? representatives of the British crown?). Too bad corgies, unlike St. Bernards, don't usually come equipped with a cask of something comforting.
Sorry, kids. The school's PR director said we needed to have class out here so she could get photos for the latest brochure. She's the one over there with the camera. Don't look at her. If you smile and pretend you're happy, I'll give you all extra credit.
The corgi was included for extra diversity.
And we will stay here until you stop starting essays with "since the dawn of time..."
I said OK, OK, we can have class outside ----- WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER!!Fuck.Me.
Correct again, Sergeant Corgi! I must say I appreciate your continued enthusiasm and grasp of the material, but I'm sure you understand that your classmates need a chance to earn some participation points, too, okay?Okay, from the top again, but remember, listen to the other parts this time; one of you was a little sharp on the chorus.There, see? It's right here in the student manual, page 58: unprofessional conduct will not be tolerated and will have consequences. And as you can see, our faculty have the full support of the administration. Go ahead: complain to me one more time how "the bitch gave you too much reading."Upon noting that the younger primates had again segregated themselves by gender (as is tradition), Rex avoided his usual seat in front and instead stood casually in the back row. He knew Ginger could fend for herself, but the mission depended on keeping his cover.Yeah, I know, it's a little uncomfortable out here, but we don't really have a choice. Till they fix the air conditioning, the whole building is a frikkin sauna.Where's IT with that fucking projector?You have only yourselves to blame. If you'd kept up with the reading, we'd be well into the green book by now.
Administrator Dean Dog is not amused by Adjunct Prof.
We have a diverse international student body! Take one guess at identifying the fellow who is from faraway Edmonton, Alberta.
"Silent Night... Holy Night..."
We're not going back inside until I found out which one of you pooped in the classroom.