Friday, February 14, 2014

And the winner is...

Here are the results for the winners of the Student Olympics, as determined by our first POOP (Play Online with Other Professors) event.

There are a few things we need to take care of before the winners are announced.  This game included over thirty entries so there was a lot of competition.  On the other hand, you could vote for your favorite entry as often as you want so if you didn't win, that's your fault.  Complain to us about how busy you were.  I dare you.

We don't give medals for these awards because I think the Olympics and/or NBC trademarked them.  We sure as hell don't want to listen to the national anthem of Snowflakistan. 

One last thing.  I want to point out that making that awesome Olympics snowflake graphic took a ton of time.  I'm giving myself a trophy, just to let you know.
Alright, enough goofing around.  Here we go:

Third place

Synchronized Staring. "Any questions? Anyone? Any comment at all? Any AWARENESS that there is a person at the front of the room, talking to you about things you will be required to know..."

by Wylodmayer

Second Place

Downhill Attending: Having perfect attendance until the class is certified, thus freeing up all of that financial aid, then disappearing from the face of the campus.

by CrayonEater

First Place

Grade Curling: getting *this* close to a passing grade while parents and/or administrators frantically try to clear the way.

by Nancy from Niles
Congratulations to all our winners!


  1. Love, Love, LOVE the snowflakes! And all that clicking wildly on my entry was sooooooooooo worth it! ;-)

  2. This was so much fun. Can we do it again in four years? Congratulations to the winners.

  3. I'd like to thank the academy for adjunct pay and open-enrollment institutions. "Thank."

  4. So I POOP-ed, the people CRAP-ed, and I won?! I'm honored!

  5. I think these are the ones I voted for. I won!

  6. Wylodmayer's submission reminds me sooooo much of my very first course that I TA'ed as a grad student. Prior to the mid term, we had an entire tutorial session devoted to questions for the exam. I told them the week before to review their notes and come with any questions on material that they weren't sure about. The professor never showed or told the TAs what was on the exam so we weren't get hassled about it and we could claim ignorance.

    Did they come with any questions? Nope.

    I actually had a student who said something along the lines of "how can we ask questions, when we don't know what we don't know?" I took a big sigh (because I was about ready to walk out) and then proceeded to write the basic outline/main topics of the previous lectures on the chalk board which all the students frantically wrote down.

    1. There should be an edit button....I can't help myself but that should be "The professor never showed or told the TAs what was on the exam so we wouldn't get hassled about it and we could claim ignorance"

  7. As a mother and taxpayer I am appalled that you have not given my Ogre a trophy yet. How dare you crush his self esteem by witholding the award that he rightfully won because he worked so hard on his entries. It is totally unfair that he voted for other people's entries and then they did not do the same for him. If you were any good as a pollster everybody would have won. He might never enter another contest again. Of course he's too modest to tell me that, but I know by the way he's just sipping his coffee at the rear window and mumbling about snowflakes like he does every other morning. But this is different. A mother knows. You do the right thing or I will take this injustice to your supervisor.

    1. Dammit, Mom, you said you just wanted to check on your retirement account. You can't mock me about "having something to hide" when I go to close all my Firefox tabs just so that you'll start with a fresh session and then turn around and betray me like this. Maybe YOU have someting to hide. You know I can easily find out what pages you were visiting, right? Like for instance this one, and this WHOA )(*#!@# lkjsdf $%&% cvbm EOT ACK NUL NO CARRIER --- That's it. You're getting your own laptop and wireless plan. You make where I work look like an oasis of sanity.

    2. You sound familiar, Mrs. Hep. Did Ogre take writing-in-the-disciplines a decade or so ago at R2-that-wants-to-be-an-R1 State U?

    3. Cassandra, I wish I had taken your course, not for your sake but for mine; I’m sure I would have gotten a lot from it. But alas, I passed through about two decades before the timeframe you specify.

      For what it’s worth, my mother will not likely be answering. She denies having made the above comment or having sullied my browser history. Or rather, she says that she checked her portfolio, logged out of it, closed the window she was working from, and then left the room with my windows open exactly as I had left them, and that I can’t prove otherwise. I think she’s gaslighting me.